Pre-Mourning Boosts Life Before Death

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Social media and digital tools have changed the way we live and, to some extent, the way we die. Increasingly, loved ones and notables are honored through what could be called pre-mourning.

“I love my husband with all my heart,” tweeted Cindy McCain, as it was reported that her husband, Sen. John McCain, would discontinue treatment in his battle with cancer. Daughter Meghan tweeted, “Thank you for all your continued support and prayers.”

The tweets were echoed hundreds of thousands of times in less than 24 hours. The hope, of course, was that heartfelt messages would reach the Arizona senator before his death.

Before Aretha Franklin’s death on August 16, the Queen of Soul was similarly honored by fans via social media. According to CNN’s Don Lemon, a reporter with close ties to Franklin, pre-mourning messages from an adoring public were read aloud to the 76-year-old singer during her final hours.

Back in June, when Charles Krauthammer, the acclaimed conservative columnist learned that he was dying of cancer, he wrote on The Washington Post website that he had only a few weeks to live. His last words soon reverberated on social media.

“I believe that the pursuit of truth and right ideas through honest debate and rigorous argument is a noble undertaking,” he wrote. “I am grateful to have played a small role in the conversations that have helped guide this extraordinary nation’s destiny.”

Like John McCain, Krauthammer received an enormous outpouring of pre-mourning praise from all sides of the political spectrum. Each man was noted for taking a fair and articulate approach to the issues that seem, more than ever, to divide us.

Social media was active in April before the passing of Barbara Bush, the wife of one president and mother of another. The love and respect for Mrs. Bush was immediately apparent in the flood of digital messages – many of which reached her before her death.

Barbara Bush planned every detail of her funeral and burial, but few in modern times have orchestrated a goodbye with such grace, dignity and detail as John McCain.

Some of our public heroes, such as the comedian Robin Williams, for example, are taken from us in such a way that there can be no pre-mourning. But, as McCain demonstrated, when one’s fate is clear there can be no greater source of final satisfaction than to hear and read the messages from those who care so deeply.

“Like most people, I have regrets,” wrote McCain in his farewell. “But I would not trade a day of my life, in good or bad times, for the best day of anyone else’s.”

A grateful nation mourns John McCain now, but was able to reach out before his death through social media and salute him.

A list of Peter Funt’s upcoming live appearances is available at www.CandidCamera.com.

Peter Funt is a writer and speaker. His book, “Cautiously Optimistic,” is available at Amazon.com and CandidCamera.com.Copyright2018 Peter Funt. Columns distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons, Inc., newspaper syndicate.

In print and on television, Peter Funt continues the Funt Family tradition of making people smile – while examining the human condition.

After 15 years hosting the landmark TV series “Candid Camera,” Peter writes frequent op-eds for The Boston Globe and The Wall Street Journal.

Peter is a frequent speaker before business groups and on college campuses, using the vast “Candid Camera” library to bring his points to life. His newest presentation for corporate audiences, “The Candid You,” draws upon decades of people-watching to identify factors that promote better communication and productivity.

In addition to his hidden-camera work, Peter Funt has produced and hosted TV specials on the Arts & Entertainment and Lifetime cable networks. He also spent five years as an editor and reporter with ABC News in New York.

Earlier in his career, Peter wrote dozens of articles for The New York Times and TV Guide about television and film. He was editor and publisher of the television magazine On Cable. And he authored the book "Gotcha!" for Grosset & Dunlap on the lost art of practical joking.